Stupid Broken Windshield Wiper

Lately, we have been going through some difficult financial times.  Feast and famine of the construction world, I guess.  It's not easy for anyone, and it's definitely not easy for me.  I feel irresponsible and like I am failing at life when I can't pay my bills on time.  More than any other thing, financial issues stress me out.  I can not wait until we get to the point where we have some money set back for these "famine" times.  I just keep hoping, and waiting, and working toward that goal.  Each time, each year of owning our own business gets a little better. 

Anyway, the point of this blog....  We borrowed a truck from a friend so that we had a vehicle (Steve's truck was in the shop).  This particular morning everything was going wrong from the moment we woke up: It's raining, we can't find anything we are looking for, we were running late, the dog peed on the carpet and ate a pillow.  It didn't help that I was mad a Steve because we had a fight that neither of us had recovered from. We finally get in the truck to go and, I am trying to calm myself, thinking Jesus I need you.  Steve turns on the windshield wipers and only the drivers side is operational.  Ugh!  I mean, I'm glad that it was the drivers side that worked, it could have been worse.  Steve makes me nervous when he drives, truthfully, everyone makes me nervous.  Maybe it's that I am not in control of the car? At any rate, being nervous AND not being able to see out the window made me even more nervous.

This is when the Holy Spirit whispered in my ear, because I am bordering on panic in the passenger seat.  "Steve can see and he is the one driving".  Stupid that God would have to tell me that, right?!?  He reminded me of all the questions I had been asking, and suddenly all my problems and worries became the rain that I couldn't see through.  I still sat there panicked until He said, "It's going to be okay, I'm the one driving".  I have seen God work in my favor countless times and bring me through so many situations, and yet... I need to continually remind myself of what He has done so I don't forget to trust.  I was reminded that I don't have to be able to see where I am going, to be able to trust the driver.  I was reminded that He is my provider and my help.  He is a good Father who loves me.

None of my questions were answered, I still had all the problems I started out the day with, but the peace and love that flowed through me in that moment almost liquefied me into a puddle on the floor.   I'm thankful for little life lessons that bring perspective to my situation.  I'm thankful for reminders that even if I can't see what's up ahead, I can trust that God knows what He is doing.

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple" - Dr. Seuss