When the Clock Stikes 9

I am not a night owl.  Steve teases that I am an old lady and that I turn into a pumpkin at 9.  It's true.  I have been that way as long as I can remember.  My body is just hardwired to sleep early and get up early.  So Steve's late nights have been hard on me.  I wish we could go back to the time when he and I would cuddle on our favorite chair together and watch tv while eating cookies.  But we can't, he already announced that he is running for US Congress and now he has to do the work to show that he is a serious candidate.

I am still worried.  Don't get me wrong.  I am not worried about him or that he can do the job.  I have complete faith in that.  I am worried about me.  I am worried that it is going to change me.  Change us.  It's only been a month and I am having a hard time with the late nights and the time that he has spent away from us.  In so many ways I feel like I am a single mom again.

I hate feeling alone.  Something changed when we got married and now I can't sleep well unless he is next to me.  Not sure what that is all about, I have slept just fine by myself for years, and now that I am married all of the sudden his absence causes insomnia?  The next day isn't fun either.  I am cranky cause Steve didn't come home til late and tired cause I couldn't sleep which makes the cranky even worse.


I have tried to manage my expectations by just assuming that he is always politicing and that I can't depend on him to be around.  That works for planning and I am definitely less mad at him. It doesn't help that I don't understand politics.  What could they possibly be talking about this late at night?  I am pretty sure they aren't making donor phone calls... they do want to win.  I can't think of anything more annoying that getting a late night phone call from a politician, most people don't even wanna talk to telemarketers late at night and I am pretty sure that politicians are more disliked than telemarketers... scary.  This is what my husband wants to do.  Whatever.

What I really hate... is the unexpected.  Especially when we have been home for a while, not like we are doing anything spectacular.  Just enjoying being home.  Everyone just chillin out.  Then BOOM.  He has to go.  Just got a meeting with "someone"  I have no idea who these people are.  Emergency conference call. Or whatever whatever. When my expectation is that I am going to be able to spend the night cuddling with my husband... and he suddenly has to go.. I know that he is going to be out late.  Neither Steve or Matt (his campaign manager) know how to shut up. Do you blame me for being mad?  Sometimes a girl just needs a little uninterrupted attention.

I probably shouldn't even write any of this.  But I am very upset, and I can't sleep because tonight is one of those unexpected nights.  I couldn't stay quiet and fought with him as he walked out the door to his "had to be in person" meeting with Matt.

I am sure that I will get over this.  It will all work out; I am worried that harder times are coming.   I know that he is working hard.  What I feel right now... is that when this is all over... Steve owes me BIG.

All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you'll be quite a lot!

-Dr. Seuss-

Overachiever Or Just Plain Crazy

I am the newest staff member at the National College of Business & Technology.  I wasn't even looking for the job!  I will be an instructor for "Intro to Pharmacology".  So the story goes like this:

I was at work, minding my own business, happily stuffing a burrito in my mouth, when a gentleman in a suit comes to the drop off window.  I try to quickly swallow some of the mouthful that I have and cover my mouth so the rest doesn't fall out when I say, "Hi, may I help you?"  He says he would like to speak to the pharmacist or the lead tech.  Quickly assessing the situation, I conclude that he doesn't look mad so he probably isn't a patient ready to complain.. which leaves one option, he must be a drug rep.  I do not like talking to drug reps so I signal to my pharmacist that she has a question at the window and I continue eating my burrito.  He then explains that he is the campus director and he is looking for someone to teach a night class once a week.  My pharmacist can't do it, but directs his attention to me.  I had yet another large bit of food in my mouth (Think Kate Hudson in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.. very attractive).
As I swallow my food, I listen to what he has to say and his proposition interests me so I ask some questions and tell him I will get back with him ASAP.

I discussed the job possibility with Steve and made sure that it would fit into my hectic schedule.  We can work this out and a little extra money wouldn't hurt.  Plus, I am working toward my PharmD.. this is going to look great on a resume!!! 

When I called him back that night, I was a little worried that I wouldn't have the credentials needed for the job since I do not have an associates degree yet.  He told me what the job would entail and what was expected of me.  He said that he would check into the degree thing and get back with me the next day.

This whole time I am super nervous.  I have never taught before.  When I get in front of people, I turn really red.. nerves, fast heart rate, hard to concentrate.  It take a while to get comfortable.  I have to make my own syllabus, and cover 33 chapters of a text book in 10 weeks.  OMG..  seriously wondering what I have got myself into.  Will I be able to teach effectively?  While working at a retail pharmacy for 4 years now, I have become more than a little jaded (see video);

  I don't want to scare people away, but I also would want to prepare them for what they might face.  This should be interesting.


I filled out all of the paperwork today, and met with the Director of Health Care Education.  He made me feel better; we went over today about teaching and the syllabus in more detail seemed a lot more manageable.

I know that I can do this.  What I know about me is that I can do anything I set my mind to.  I will probably trip up but I will learn and move on and be better for it!  Looking forward to adding teacher to the many hats I wear:  Mom, Full-time Employee, Part-time Student, and Teacher... Challenge Accepted! LOL

“So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed)

-Dr Seuss