This is the last post on this site. I was having trouble keeping everything seperate or maybe together? I don't know what I am saying. I guess what I mean is this...
As much as I love the nostalgia of this site because it is the first place that I learned I liked to blog, I am merging it with the farm website. My life is evolving and changing and it just makes sense to put everything in one place.
From here to there happened because I wanted a place that would track where I came from and where I am going. That sentiment will follow me and be lived out in another place.
If you enjoy reading what I have to say, please come on over and check out the new space.
The Farm at Cedar Barrens
Saturday, March 31, 2018
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
Stupid Broken Windshield Wiper
Lately, we have been going through some difficult financial times. Feast and famine of the construction world, I guess. It's not easy for anyone, and it's definitely not easy for me. I feel irresponsible and like I am failing at life when I can't pay my bills on time. More than any other thing, financial issues stress me out. I can not wait until we get to the point where we have some money set back for these "famine" times. I just keep hoping, and waiting, and working toward that goal. Each time, each year of owning our own business gets a little better.
Anyway, the point of this blog.... We borrowed a truck from a friend so that we had a vehicle (Steve's truck was in the shop). This particular morning everything was going wrong from the moment we woke up: It's raining, we can't find anything we are looking for, we were running late, the dog peed on the carpet and ate a pillow. It didn't help that I was mad a Steve because we had a fight that neither of us had recovered from. We finally get in the truck to go and, I am trying to calm myself, thinking Jesus I need you. Steve turns on the windshield wipers and only the drivers side is operational. Ugh! I mean, I'm glad that it was the drivers side that worked, it could have been worse. Steve makes me nervous when he drives, truthfully, everyone makes me nervous. Maybe it's that I am not in control of the car? At any rate, being nervous AND not being able to see out the window made me even more nervous.
This is when the Holy Spirit whispered in my ear, because I am bordering on panic in the passenger seat. "Steve can see and he is the one driving". Stupid that God would have to tell me that, right?!? He reminded me of all the questions I had been asking, and suddenly all my problems and worries became the rain that I couldn't see through. I still sat there panicked until He said, "It's going to be okay, I'm the one driving". I have seen God work in my favor countless times and bring me through so many situations, and yet... I need to continually remind myself of what He has done so I don't forget to trust. I was reminded that I don't have to be able to see where I am going, to be able to trust the driver. I was reminded that He is my provider and my help. He is a good Father who loves me.
None of my questions were answered, I still had all the problems I started out the day with, but the peace and love that flowed through me in that moment almost liquefied me into a puddle on the floor. I'm thankful for little life lessons that bring perspective to my situation. I'm thankful for reminders that even if I can't see what's up ahead, I can trust that God knows what He is doing.
Anyway, the point of this blog.... We borrowed a truck from a friend so that we had a vehicle (Steve's truck was in the shop). This particular morning everything was going wrong from the moment we woke up: It's raining, we can't find anything we are looking for, we were running late, the dog peed on the carpet and ate a pillow. It didn't help that I was mad a Steve because we had a fight that neither of us had recovered from. We finally get in the truck to go and, I am trying to calm myself, thinking Jesus I need you. Steve turns on the windshield wipers and only the drivers side is operational. Ugh! I mean, I'm glad that it was the drivers side that worked, it could have been worse. Steve makes me nervous when he drives, truthfully, everyone makes me nervous. Maybe it's that I am not in control of the car? At any rate, being nervous AND not being able to see out the window made me even more nervous.
This is when the Holy Spirit whispered in my ear, because I am bordering on panic in the passenger seat. "Steve can see and he is the one driving". Stupid that God would have to tell me that, right?!? He reminded me of all the questions I had been asking, and suddenly all my problems and worries became the rain that I couldn't see through. I still sat there panicked until He said, "It's going to be okay, I'm the one driving". I have seen God work in my favor countless times and bring me through so many situations, and yet... I need to continually remind myself of what He has done so I don't forget to trust. I was reminded that I don't have to be able to see where I am going, to be able to trust the driver. I was reminded that He is my provider and my help. He is a good Father who loves me.
None of my questions were answered, I still had all the problems I started out the day with, but the peace and love that flowed through me in that moment almost liquefied me into a puddle on the floor. I'm thankful for little life lessons that bring perspective to my situation. I'm thankful for reminders that even if I can't see what's up ahead, I can trust that God knows what He is doing.
"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple" - Dr. Seuss
Sunday, January 28, 2018
Home is not a place... It's a feeling
I hung pictures in the rental house yesterday. It made me sad. The pictures have been packed away in boxes since we moved. Actually, they have been in boxes a lot longer than just before we moved. I took them down because we were remodeling the house and they stayed there because I knew that we were going to move.
I hoped that we would be moving to the farm house that we are going to build. When we decided to move to a rental to get out of our own way so we could finish the remodel, I was scared and excited. It's a huge commitment, not to mention the amount of money involved in renting a house and still paying a mortgage. We reasoned that we would be able to finish the remodel and sell more quickly if we weren't living there. We thought that we would have closed on the farm land by now. We thought we would be done with the remodel by now. Life often happens, and laughs in our face at what we thought. This month marks the 1 year anniversary of when we put an offer on that land, and 5 months since we moved into the rental.
I didn't hang any pictures because I thought... What's the point? We are just going to be taking them down again once we close on the land. So they sat, in boxes, in the living room. We used the boxes for end tables, a catch all place for stuff we hadn't figured out where to put just yet. We used them to keep stuff off the floor and away from the dogs, but they were never hung.
Our closing became more complicated when the owner of the property passed away. Over the last year, we have become acquainted with the owners wife. She has been taking care of her husband, who suffered from Alzheimer's since we met her. She probably thought, like we did, that once she found a buyer the land would close. Yet, because of the numerous complications the title company found and needed more time to sort out, her husband passed away. Since this sweet woman was not on the deed, she can not sell us the property until it goes through probate. We are told by her lawyer that it could take up to 9 months to sort out.
So, I'm sad. Sad that we can't be where I know that we belong. Sad that this woman has to go through this process while grieving for her husband. Sad that I am hanging pictures in a house that is not ours.
I haven't finished completely. I am still figuring out where I want to put everything. As sad as I am about the situation, I am glad that I did it. The house feels more like a home now. It is a subtle difference that I am not sure you would notice right away. Just having family pictures hung on the wall brings warmth, love, and belonging, at least that is how I felt when I was finished the wall I started.
I hoped that we would be moving to the farm house that we are going to build. When we decided to move to a rental to get out of our own way so we could finish the remodel, I was scared and excited. It's a huge commitment, not to mention the amount of money involved in renting a house and still paying a mortgage. We reasoned that we would be able to finish the remodel and sell more quickly if we weren't living there. We thought that we would have closed on the farm land by now. We thought we would be done with the remodel by now. Life often happens, and laughs in our face at what we thought. This month marks the 1 year anniversary of when we put an offer on that land, and 5 months since we moved into the rental.
I didn't hang any pictures because I thought... What's the point? We are just going to be taking them down again once we close on the land. So they sat, in boxes, in the living room. We used the boxes for end tables, a catch all place for stuff we hadn't figured out where to put just yet. We used them to keep stuff off the floor and away from the dogs, but they were never hung.
Our closing became more complicated when the owner of the property passed away. Over the last year, we have become acquainted with the owners wife. She has been taking care of her husband, who suffered from Alzheimer's since we met her. She probably thought, like we did, that once she found a buyer the land would close. Yet, because of the numerous complications the title company found and needed more time to sort out, her husband passed away. Since this sweet woman was not on the deed, she can not sell us the property until it goes through probate. We are told by her lawyer that it could take up to 9 months to sort out.
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| When you think things are bad, when you feel sour and blue, when you start to get mad... you should do what I do! Just tell yourself, Duckie, you're really quite lucky! Some people are much more... oh, ever so much more... oh, muchly much-much more unlucky than you! -Dr. Seuss |
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