How Siri Tried to Kill Me

It's about that time; it's time for a blog post about nothing.  Recently, I updated the software on my iPhone.  The new update included a feature that withholds notifications while driving and even sends an automated message stating that I am driving and will get the message when I get to where I am going or something like that.  I think it is a good idea.  I am was one of those people who would text, facebook, I've even been known to read on my kindle app while driving.  I know I know.  I don't need a lecture.  I know it's dangerous.  I am trying to be better about it and this particular feature is helping.

So, on the first day of the update, I decide to ask Siri to turn on Pandora for me.  Pandora opens immediately, thanks Siri.  I am congratulating myself for not picking up my phone while driving but verbally asking Siri to do it for me.  I get to work and receive a notification about finishing the set up for my phone and it asks me questions about the do not disturb while driving.  I finish the set up and go about my business at work.

When it's time to go home, I get in the car... turn it on... see that my phone has automatically realized that I am in my car and the "Do No Disturb" has been turned on.  I say "Hey Siri"!  I am excited.  This is a new chapter in my life.  I am being responsible... but there is silence.  "Hey Siri," I say it again a little louder but with no less enthusiasm.  Nothing.  One more time with a little irritation "Hey Siri"... she hears me this time.  "open Pandora".  I expect that it will open and my music will start playing like it did that morning. Nothing.  Siri is thinking about it, I know this by the multicolored line streaking across the bottom of my screen.  Then she says, "Hmmmm.... I'm sorry it looks like I can't do that for you while you are driving".   What the......?????   I mean, who better to do it than her... I'm the one driving, right?  Now, if I want to listen to my music, I have to pick up my phone and lie (because I have to tell my phone that I am not driving just to open it).  I thought the point of this whole thing was me not touching my phone?  I suppose I could just turn on the radio, but that is not the point.

Then, I wonder, what can Siri do while I am driving?  "Hey Siri," I say it with force and way more irritation than the last time.  Siri doesn't care, doesn't respond either.  You know when I set up Siri's voice command... I probably should have used an irritated mom voice at some point.  Anyway, I say a second "Hey, Siri, what can you do while I am driving."  Her response, "Who Me?"  OMG, yes you Siri, who else?  I probably should have given up, but I try again.  This time I ask the question a different way.  "Hey Siri, what can Siri do while I am driving?"  She thinks again, for longer than the last time and finally says... "Here is a list of things you can ask me to do"  She says this happily, as if she just hadn't handed me a list that I would have to read WHILE DRIVING.  #facepalm  #iGiveUp  Not really, but kinda.

I will continue to ask Siri things, like Hey Siri sing me a song, or like Hey Siri, what is 0/0? and my personal favorite (go ahead.. do it, you won't be disappointed) Hey Siri, I see a little sihouetto of a man.  Overall, I am happy with the new update.  I like that I can add the alarm button to my control center now.  I hated that before it would go to the timer first.  How often do people use the timer anyway?  Needless to say, I am glad that I don't have to make that little bit of extra effort to get to set my alarm.   I am not that lazy, but it surprised me how relieved I was that I could skip that one touch of the screen.  I like the new look.  I really want some airpods, and a fitbit... but that will have to wait for another day.

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities.” - Dr. Seuss