Diggin' Ditches

Taking the leap of faith.  Plunging into the unknown.  Going where others have gone before, but not me so it's kinda scary.  I am going to go part time and then eventually quit so that I can fully focus on our business and on new adventures for our family.

Yes, you heard me right.  I am going to quit my job.  This is not something that I take lightly; I have never been the type to NOT work.  When my kids were small, I nearly went insane because I didn't have a job outside the house and now it is all that I think about.  I'm not delusional though, I know that what I am about to do will be a lot more work than what I do now.  I am not quitting to get away from work because I am lazy, I truly feel like this is the next necessary step for our family to continue to grow and prosper.

Honestly, I'm super nervous.  There is so much that can go wrong.  What if the market crashes again, and there are no more houses to build?  What if we can't find work?  What if something catastrophic happens that I haven't even thought of already? What if, What if, What if??  And here I am quitting a job that could carry us through a rough time.  But the TRUTH is that none of the what ifs matter, they are worth a glance because it's always a good idea to be prepared, but they are not worth my time or worry.  If I focus on the wrong what ifs, I will be stagnant and never move from the "security" of  what I have now.

Our goals will take work.  Our goals will take faith.  I figure it's kinda like deciding to have a kid.  Is there a good time?  There's never enough money, our society seems to be declining at an ever increasing rate, and if you continue to look at the negative what ifs.... life may never happen.  So, instead, what if because of this step of faith (scary as it may seem) we earn more jobs?  What if our company grows because of my increased involvement and the skill that only I can provide?  What if the customer service that I am able to provide makes happier clients, who then refer us to their friends?  What if more time at home means my kids are better cared for and I am even more available to be a part of their lives?  What if, I have time to learn new skills to not only take care of our baby company, but our family in ways that keep everyone more healthy?

I am choosing to focus on the positive what ifs.  Do I know how all this is going to happen? NO, of course not.  What I do know is that I feel very strongly that this is not a mistake.  While in the process of making this decision, I've been reading about the life of Elisha (it has been a lifeline for me on several occasions this past month).  In Chapter 3 of 2 Kings there is the story about the kings of Israel, Judah, and Edom fighting a rebellion.  They find themselves in a desert with no water for their army.  They call on Elisha who says, "...the Lord says, Make this valley full of ditches.  For this is what the Lord says: you will see neither wind nor rain, yet this valley will be filled with water, and you, your cattle and your other animals will drink.  This is an easy thing in the eyes of the Lord; he will also deliver Moab into your hands..."  For the Israelites, this was an act of faith.  God wanted them to dig ditches to be filled with water when there is no sign of rain.  I'm sure they had what ifs, I'm sure some thought about the insanity of digging a ditch in the desert when they were already out of water.  But they did it anyway, and they not only received the water, they also won the fight.

I need some 'water' in my life.  I am believing that as I do the work of "digging ditches" God is going to fill them.  I believe that even though taking the next step seems crazy, and could go horribly wrong (like digging a ditch in a desert) it is what I need to do to prepare for God's blessing in our lives.

Last Semester

School is about to start for me again.  This will by my last semester! I will graduate with my Associates in Biology in December!  My two year degree has taken me about 4 years to complete.  I am ever so thankful for the support that I received from my family while I studied.  There have been so many times throughout the years that I have felt like (and probably have) ignored my kids and my husband.  I thought briefly about not even finishing when I decided NOT to continue on to pharmacy school.

I decided about a year ago that I didn't really want to be a pharmacist.  I see what the women I work with go through on a daily basis, I do not want that kind of stress.  It might seem weird to some that I spent all this time on a degree that I plan on doing nothing with, but I feel accomplished.  Having a college education is something that I never thought that I would have in my adult life.  Now, not only have I proven that I can do anything, but I have also shown my kids that I can do anything I set my mind to do.  The kids are the reason that I decided to finish getting my degree.  They saw me start college and I want them to see me finish.  I want them to see my walk across the stage and receive my diploma.

My desires for life and how I want to spend the rest of my days has changed so much in 4 years.  4 years ago had you asked me where I saw myself in 5,10, 20 years... I probably (definitely) wouldn't have said on a farm.  That is exactly where I want to be though.  I know nothing about farming.. I kill most every plant that I touch (except basil), and I have never raised a goat, pig, sheep or rabbit.  Yet the desire to have a farm is so strong that its all I think about most of the time.  When I Pintrest, it's about how to run a homestead, how to be self-sufficient, how to preserve food, and the perfect farm house.  I'm ready for that part of my life to start, but first I have to concentrate on ending this part.

Steve Lane: State Senate - District 14

First, let me just say, especially if you read my blog often, that I am totally failing at the whole "I'm going to post at least one blog a month" thing.  I'm working on it.. one step at a time. Now on the to reason I'm writing...

My husband is running for a State Senate in Tennessee, District 14.  I am so proud of him.  When he ran for US House in 2014, I didn't know what to expect and let me tell you... it was super stressful for the family.  There has been some stress this time, but not nearly as much.  I think that it has some to do with the fact that I knew what to expect, but more to do with the scale of the race.  Steve does not have to cover nearly as many counties as last time.

The discussion that took place prior to Steve announcing that he would be running were much shorter than those that took place when he wanted to run for US House two years ago.  I can't help but support Steve's dreams, I love him.  It's more than just the incredibly disgusting amount of love that I have for him, I know his heart.  Not only does he truly have a passion for people, and wants what is best for them, he also has so many creative, new ideas to get things done within the realm of limited government, economic freedom, and individual liberty.

I believe in what Steve stands for and I believe that he will make a lot of positive change in our state and communities.  He recently released a VIDEO explaining why he is running for Senate.  I've teased that the only reason this video will do well is because I am in it, but in truth... the reason it will do well is because it is REAL, he is real.  I believe that people (including me) are sick of the fake, sick of the same old lies and excuses and pandering.  I believe that most of us are ready for some authentic change!

It would mean so much if you would check Steve out and see what he is all about.  He is open and honest and will answer any questions that you might have.  It would mean even more if you would support him in his efforts to be elected to TN, district 14, State Senate.

Primary election day isn't that far away and we have a lot of work left to do.

Steve can be reached through:

Facebook: Steve Lane for Tennessee

Twitter: @lanefortn

Web: lanefortn.com

Bullet Journey

photo cred: @boho.berry

     Sunday is the day that I start my journey.  I have decided to jump into the world of bullet journaling.  I want to better organize my life.
     Steve will tell you that I love paper.  The problem is that I have too much of it.  I have a calendar in my purse.  A calendar on my wall. Another calendar for just the kids stuff.  A Google calendar (several of those actually).. I have notes in my phone, on little pieces of paper both in my wallet and on my cork board at my desk.  I'm sure there is an app for my problem, but I don't want an app... I love paper!!
 
     At first, I was kinda confused about the whole idea of bullet journaling.  How?  All of everything in one place AND still be able to find it?  I was already hooked after reading the article that one of my friends posted on Facebook, so I started doing some research to figure this whole thing out.  I looked all over Instagram, Blogs, Youtube and Pinterest.  Youtube was the best at explaining but I got some really good ideas from the others too.

photo cred: @alexandra_plans

Now I'm ready!!  I know how I want to start and I already have plans and ideas for how I will change it up when I have more to take care of..... like goats and sheep and a farm.  The journal is also good for keeping up with goals.  I would like to write at least one blog a month and increase the frequency gradually.  I would like to run at least 3 times a week.  Do my daily devotional... Daily.  These particular goals are not new ones; I've had them for a while now.  I feel like writing them down and tracking my habits will make me more accountable.
   I also think that this will be fun!  I have be wanted to start my journal again anyway, I want to have fun with this... I hope that it will be a relaxing and even therapeutic.
    So, here goes.

Oh the thinks you can think up if only you try!

- Dr. Seuss-

Papa's Heart

Last week was a bit of a challenge.  Between school and work and kids, I had to take Steve to Kentucky so that he could be with his family.  My father-in-law found out that he needed a quadruple bypass surgery.  After getting back home that evening, I took myself and one of my daughters to the clinic only to find out that we both had strep.

I'm thankful that I couldn't stay in the hospital long when visiting Don, very thankful that I didn't get him sick.

As per usual, school always seems to seep into my life, or maybe it's the other way around.  My assignment this week was to write a haiku.

In this waiting room
Here, waiting waiting waiting
Worried sick waiting

Clean room, skilled hands work
Doctors mending Papa's heart
Will everything be ok?

Tick tock tick tock time
Keep my mind on something else
Worry never helps

Update:  Don only needed a triple by-pass and he was home after only 3 nights.  He is doing well!!

BIG Dreams

We have big dreams.  Sometimes it looks like it is never going to happen, especially not on the timeline that we want it to.  At least the way that I look at it, my husband is an eternal optimist, he is assured that ALL of our dreams will happen this year.  (Edit: By ALL.. I mean the land and house part)

I don't think we'll find trees like this in our area,
but you get the idea.

We want to own at least 10 acres, 15 is preferable. I want chickens and goats (Steve wants a pig).  I want to learn to can and preserve food (to enjoy our delicious garden treats year round).  I want an apple tree, cherry tree and strawberries.  I want bees, too.  I want to be close enough to city that it isn't a forever drive yet far enough away that we can't see our neighbors (if we even have neighbors) or hear the cars going by.  I want a tree lined drive and an adorable farm house.  I want to make butter and yogurt and cheese with the goats milk.  I eventually want to learn how to spin yarn from goat hair (mohair) to make yarn.  I want my mom and dad to be able to live on this land with us.  I want a path around the whole property to run/ ride on.  I want more that I haven't even discovered yet.

I want this breed of goat (Nubian)

My ideas just keep getting bigger as I find things to add to my farm house dream.  I don't want to work anymore (I never thought I would ever be saying that, EVER).  I want to be able to spend more time with the kids (they are almost grown).  I want time to care for my animals. I will need time to make butter, cheese, yarn, pickles,...... I might even find time to clean, maybe.  The only thing I don't want to do is garden.  I'll leave that to Steve.  I hate gardening, plants don't like me either.  I do not have a green thumb, mine is black as in death to every plant I touch.

Curious chickens always look
like they are posing for a selfie

Many times it all seems too big and out of reach.  I am trying to focus on the steps that will get us there while still looking ahead so we know where we are headed.  It's a frustrating balance.  This is the beginning of the journey.  I know it will have its challenges but I am looking forward to the end result: A healthy, happy, (mostly) self-sufficient life up ahead.  Note: Not sure if we could ever live an "unplugged" life.  Steve would never give up high-speed Internet.  But, we want to get awfully close.

"You're off to great places!  Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, so... get on your way!" -Dr. Seuss

French Toast Medallions

This morning I woke up before my alarm.  Usually, I force myself back to sleep until my alarm goes off, but I decided that french toast sounded really good.  I knew that I had used the last piece of sandwich bread yesterday for (regular, plain, buttered) toast with eggs.  I was pretty sure we still had a quarter loaf multi-grain bread left over from our Tuesday Kroger soup date.  So, I got out of bed and called my mom while I was getting the ingredients together.

Alas, there was no bread.  When I got off the phone with my mom, I told Steve that I was planning to make french toast but I didn't have any bread.  He offered to put on pants. Yep, he is so very helpful The only bread that we have in the house is a hoagie roll.  Amazing genius that he is, Steve suggests that I cut the rolls like a loaf and use that.  Bingo!  French Toast Medallions.

I actually thought about blogging before I started cooking.. So I remembered to do pictures.  Yay me.  Actually, I probably say this all the time, but this was the best batch of french toast I have ever made. Usually my french toast turns out really eggy and I don't like that.  Seriously these were perfect.

Here's what I did.  I combined the eggs, heavy cream, sugar, cinnamon, and vanilla extract in a bowl and whisked them while I was talking to mom.  Then I cut the bread.  The recipe mentioned the eggs needed to be whisked very well with the heavy cream.  This is where, I think, I have gone wrong with french toast my ENTIRE life.  I have never whisked very well.  I noticed that not only was the egg white not mixing in very well.. the cinnamon was a bit clumpy.  I just so happen to have a whisk attachment for my mixer.  It is amazing!  Did the job in under a minute.  Perfection.


 Nothing special after that.  I cooked each side until it was golden brown.  The two hoagie rolls that I cut up was a perfect amount for this recipe (which calls for 4 slices of bread).  I may not ever get it this perfect again, so I am glad that I have the pictures to prove it happened.  I may have to keep some hoagie rolls on hand from now on...  I think that the kids would like these cute little french toast bites.  I am snacking on one right now with coffee in my favorite dinosaur mug.

2 large eggs

1/3 cup heavy cream, half and half, or whole milk

1 TBS granulated sugar

¼ tsp ground cinnamon

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

4 thick slices of bread (I used two hoagie rolls cut into thick slices)

2 TBS butter

Pure maple syrup for serving

Directions

Please ignore my paper plate! (I hate dishes) In a medium shallow bowl, whisk together eggs and cream (or whatever milk you're using). In a small bowl, stir together the granulated and cinnamon. Stirring the sugar and cinnamon together will keep the cinnamon from clumping up in the egg mixture. Whisk the eggs, cream, sugar and cinnamon until the egg whites are broken down and well mixed into the cream. Place a nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add a pat of butter, about 1 tablespoon and allow to melt. Dip one slice of brioche into the egg mixture. Allow to sit for 15 seconds then flip to moisten and coat the other side. Allow to sit for another 15 seconds. Place the dipped slice of bread in the hot skillet and cook until golden brown, about 1 minute and 30 seconds. Gently flip and cook on the other side until golden brown. Don't press down and flatten the toast. Keep it fluffy. Continue until both or all of the slices are cooked, adding more butter to the pan as necessary throughout cooking. Serve warm with more cinnamon sugar and maple syrup. Bacon, too... because always.

Here is where I found this recipe

Humble Pie

As I have researched for this blog post, I have become increasingly aware that I need this word in my life.  Humble.  This year should be interesting! About the middle of December, I started asking the Lord what my new word for the year might be.  Last year was my first attempt at focusing on ONE word.  I think that overall it was a successful venture, although there were more times that I didn't focus on listening than when I did.  New year, new day, new chances..

Until today, I hadn't received a solid answer, but then I realized that in all of the things I have read, and in several conversations I have had over the last month and more specifically in the last few weeks... humility has been the central theme.  SO, I think that my new word for 2016 is humble.  My co-workers will tell you that this is probably not a quality that I have excelled in the last few years.  In fact, I have regularly touted that "I am awesome".  Which I am, but the point is.... humility lets the awesomeness speak for itself.

I told Steve about the word I feel I've been lead to.  He thinks I'm humble (I guess I have him fooled), so he asked me what I think the definition of that word is.  I don't think I know the definition, I'm not so sure that I would even recognize humble if I saw it.  I can point out pride... but what is humility?

While I was thinking about that, this story came to mind.  I don't know where it came from or if I had heard it before somewhere...

A hungry hunter prays and asks God to send him some game.  The man goes out to find food and comes across a fish swimming slowly in a clear stream.  He looks at the fish and says in his heart that he deserves something bigger than a fish, God wouldn't provide only a small fish.  The hunter walks stealthily through the forest searching for bigger prey when he happens upon a bird.  The bird doesn't seem to notice as the hunter raises his bow.  As the man takes aim, he thinks in his heart that he can do better than a bird... he is worth much more.  So the hungry hunter lowers his bow as the bird flies away.  The man continues his search for large game to fill his belly.  A rabbit foraging on the forest floor becomes very still and raises his ears, the man has the rabbit in his sight.  But again, the man decides that he needs much more than a rabbit to satisfy his hunger.  Much later in the day, the hungry hunter comes across a deer tracks.  The man says to himself, yes this is the kind of animal that I deserve! He searches and searches for the deer that left its tracks on the forest floor, but can not find the animal.  By this time it is getting dark, and disheartened the man makes his way back to his humble cabin.  As the hungry man is walking back to his home, every step he takes makes him more and more angry at God.  The man says to God, you say you are my Provider, I asked you for food, for game, and now I am going home with nothing, and I am still hungry. The forest was quiet for several minutes and then gently God answered the man.  "I gave you what you asked for.  I answered your prayer with a fish, a bird and a rabbit but in your pride you decided that you are better than my gift.. instead you kept searching for what you felt like you deserved instead of accepting what I put in your hand

So, if the story above illustrates Pride, what is true humility?

Vernon Grounds(1) says, 

"It is the spontaneous recognition of the creature’s absolute dependence on his Creator ….”

Andrew Murray(2) says,

“the place of entire dependence on God.” He adds, “Humility is not so much a grace or virtue along with others; it is the root of all, because it alone takes the right attitude before God, and allows Him as God to do all…. It is simply the sense of entire nothingness, which comes when we see how truly God is all, and in which we make way for God to be all.”

Stuart Scott says(3),

"When someone is humble they are focused on God and others, not self. Even their focus on others is out of a desire to love and glorify God…. A humble person’s goal is to elevate God and encourage others. In short, they “no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf” (2 Cor. 5:15).

So then, humility (or pride) is a matter of how we think before God. Often we can see the attitudes and behavior of pride in others. But the point is, even if we can hide our pride from others, we cannot hide it from God. This is a mindset that we have to develop before Him, where we constantly judge our dependence on ourselves and affirm our gratitude toward Him and dependence on Him. James 4:10, “Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.”(4)

If He can humble himself to become man, suffer and die for me, the least I can do is be humble myself and trust him in All things.

I'm ready 2016!!!  This year is going to be interesting and full of change, I can feel it!  

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1. Vernon Grounds.  Zondervan Pictorial Encyclopedia of the Bible, ed. by Merrill C. Tenney [Zondervan], 3:222)
2. Murray, Andrew.  Humility: The Beauty of Holiness [Christian Literature Crusade], p. 12
3. Scott, Stuart.  From Pride to Humility (rev. ed., excerpted from The Exemplary Husband [Focus Publications], p. 17
4. Cole, Steven J. Bible.org